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So far this pregnancy’s been hell


This post runs the risk of sounding ungrateful. I’m not. I am super excited about my soon-to-arrive baby girl. But I also feel like it’s important to talk about the downright crappy sides to pregnancy so that expectant parents going through tough times don’t feel alone. So here we go:

Pregnancy has been the worst experience of my life and I’m not even the one pregnant. Here are but a few of the reasons our pregnancy has been hell:

The excruciating way we found out

Those of you who read Jammie’s far better-written blog will know that the way we found out she was pregnant was pretty horrific in itself. Short version: Jammie broke a bone in her foot by falling into a well-trafficked Bangkok street. At the ER she had the presence of mind to ask for a pregnancy test before an X-ray and BINGO: We found out we were going to be parents.

Jammie’s limited mobility meant that, on top of adjusting to all the discomforts of being pregnant for the first time, she was also on crutches since we decided that getting a wheelchair was not a practical solution given the lack of wheelchair access in Bangkok. For the first several weeks we were in the hospital every few days running up all kinds of hospital bills, either with an orthopedic specialist monitoring Jammie’s foot or a precarious pregnancy (more on that below). Not fun.

An instantly fire-able doctor

As if Jammie’s broken foot was not enough painful punishment, within a week of our discovery that she was pregnant, she was actively bleeding (not spotting). We rushed to the hospital and the awful doctor (who we ditched after our first appointment) yelled at Jammie for asking questions and helpfully informed us that she had experienced a “threatened abortion.” For those of you lucky enough not to know what that means, a threatened abortion is a term used to describe vaginal bleeding within the first 20 weeks of pregnancy that could indicate risk of miscarriage.

I felt dizzy when we got that horrible news. Jammie and I had gone from complete elation the week before at the news of the pregnancy to utter despair when we realized that we were at real risk of losing our baby.

Nausea

I don’t deal well with 20 minutes of nausea. Jammie has routinely dealt with stretches of misery that have lasted longer than a week. In fact, most of the first trimester was one long nausea fest punctuated by more than the occasional sleepless night (read: Jammie felt too horrible to sleep.). The only silver lining to the first-trimester nausea? Jammie “only” threw up once.

Mood Swings

Shockingly, this magical cocktail of sleep deprivation, nausea, major pregnancy scares and incompetent medical personnel — all fused with the incredible uncertainty of simply not having any answers because this is our first pregnancy— has a way of affecting your mood. And not only does it affect Jammie’s overall temperament, it stresses me out because I feel powerless to help with some things. Let’s just say that there have been a lot of mutual apologies so far. We have a lifetime to go but the last several months have been a crash course in maturity acquisition.

A Little Perspective

Luckily, little Journie has hung in there and she is due in about seven weeks. She has stuck with us through thick and thin and we are sure that one glimpse of her will provide complete perspective on all the wailing and gnashing of teeth that led up to her birth. Even now, the mere sound of her heartbeat at our prenatal hospital visits makes us feel all warm inside. As our apartment gradually starts to fill up with baby gear and we talk about how surreal it is that we are about to officially +1 the Karlman party, we are barely able to process the fact that our first pregnancy has almost reached full term. And then (as my friends-with-kids love to remind us), the Journie really begins!


11 thoughts on “So far this pregnancy’s been hell”

  1. Dear Jammie and Bjorn,
    Thank you for being so honest about what you have experienced. You have certainly had a tough time during this pregnancy but you have also learnt a lot. I read something yesterday that I want to share with you:” Love is compassion, understanding and forgiveness” and I think you have learnt the truth of that.
    We, Journie’s grandparents to be, have suffered with you and many prayers have been sent up in your behalf. Now we all look forward to a happy end of this tumultuous journey with a safe arrival of little Journie.

  2. Yes, I also thought pregnancy would be wonderful…but I hated every minute of it and I felt like a horrible mother because of it. I believe it is important for people to share the good the bad and the ugly, so that one does not get any surprises and know that what they are going through is normal.
    You guys have certainly had your share of troubles with this pregnancy, and I am sure you are very ready for her to make her arrival now. Almost there… We pray that the last few weeks will go smoothly!

  3. Crappy pregnancies have awesome births! :) nobody stays pregnant forever, it’s almost over. Enjoy the last few moments of being baby free.

  4. Congrats, guys! Really happy and excited for you both. I can relate to some of those ‘horrors’…being pregnant in a foreign country can be really stressful. I found out i was pregnant with our daughter in Taiwan and some how couldn’t find an English speaking person to help us at the maternity hospital. Long story short, we some how ended up in a fertility clinic where ONE nurse was able to speak English and translate for us. Looking back it was pretty hilarious…not so much back then though.

    You’ll have lots of interesting stories to tell your little one when she grows up. All the best for the home stretch and I’m looking forward to following your ‘diaperhood’ journey here!

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  6. Zitat:“Wenn sie nicht zum Komplott gehören, dann haben ihnen Bundestag und Bundesrat etwas aufgebürdet, das fast übermenschliche Charaktereigenschaften erfordert.”Was bitteschön, ist denn daran “Ãœbermenschlich”, wenn MANN man seine Meinung sagt?Das mit dem “Komplott” will Ich einfach mal nicht gelesen haben TUN.

  7. Thanks John, much appreciated! I’m not sure about how it works either, but it seems a bit silly to not even mention it. Then again Flex isn’t up either so you may have something there. It would be even cooler if the MM guys in Japan put up their own blogs or something and got more involved with the community in Japan like the US MM guys do. It would really improve awareness of MM products, and probably help to have others also spread more information. Maybe I just don’t know about them?..

    1. "Niall lit the stove, ran the bath, poured the wine and lit all the caqetes&nuol;Wdll it doesn't get much better than that!!!! Fabulous, lovely post, great photos, will be checking out the website, it's time we re-visited Ireland…Fiona xx

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